An "I" message
an i message is likely to lead to a problem-solving conversation.most couple's start attacking each other instead of the problem.when you argue attack the problem and not bring up the past.Think if the problem is worth fighting for or not.try to avoid saying "you always," "you never" or "every time". that could make your patter feel bad, don't put down each other.also don't call each other names,express what you want instead of harping on what you don't want.
